Joy & Pain

Hi everyone, its been awhile since I've written something in here due to the change of houses hehehe.. but its been a very important month for me. As most of you know, we had the church retreat and there I received a gift from God, Holy laughter. Man it feels like the greatest joy of the world and I couldn't stop laughing. It was such a GREAT joy!! Crazy, never felt anything like that before but it was AWESOME!! That retreat deserved it's name "Higher Ground" indeed.

What came after the retreat was even more important. Just as usual, when God raises you higher, the devil wants to drag you down. So for the whole of this week, God has taught me a lesson I'll never forget in my whole entire life. He took away the most precious gift from me and told me to sacrifice it to Him. It's a really great contrast to the retreat. The greatest pain I have ever felt in my whole life. It felt as if, if God wasn't there for me, I would've just died of grief. It reminds me of the time when Abraham had to sacrifice his son Isaac to God. God was testing his faith and in the last second, saved Isaac from death. I thank God every minute for this pain that I am experiencing. I know it will make me stronger and in the end, my reward will be great.

"Blessed be your name,
in the road marked with suffering,
though there's pain in the offering,
Blessed be your name!"

Need

Need = requirement, necessity, desire, want and more importantly...love (1 Corinthians 13:5-7)

Humilty

Humilty = Realising that without God, you can't do anything, that He is the centre of all joy and love, that emptiness and loneliness will invade your heart if you reject Him and start thinking about yourself.

This week God placed me under fire to be trialed, refining me more and more. It hurt alot but the results are that He has taught me something and has made me stronger. It was about humility and humbleness. During my powerhouse, I started getting self-concious and suddenly it was "all about me" rather than "all about God". So His Spirit left me and at that I was completely lost. As days passed by, His presence left me but it didn't mean that He had forsaken me, never have, never will. But He did it so that I would seek Him. So I did with all my heart, crying out to God. And He came and placed His arms around me telling me that He loved me. It was then that I realised just how much I "NEED" Him.

Sometimes we forget about all the things God has done for us and just how much He loves us. I did. But it always amazes me you know, every time I come to Him:

His love is so great it feels as if He "needs" us.

Maybe its because we cannot imagine the intensity of God's love and so it feels as if He needs us when He really just longs for us. Or maybe when we have the heart of Christ in ourselves, we have the feeling of need in our hearts????

Either way, I realise that I "long for", "desire", "want" and "need" Him in my life. How about you?

Passsssssssion man!!!

Hey all.. haven't written anything for awhile. It's been a hectic week!! But a really good one! Firstly there was my first week of "Passion" powerhouse!! Yay!!! There weren't many people that came but to those who did, I thankyou so much for the support!! I was supposed to speak Indo that day but it was mainly English...hehehe hopefully as the weeks go by, it will be more Indo than english (so my teachers out there! Help me practice!) God placed His vision really strongly for that powerhouse and I'm sure it will unfold this year.

Have you ever felt dry in your heart?? Well, it seemed that the few days after powerhouse, I felt like a dessert!! It was a really dangerous time because it felt as if everything was against me and that God was really far away. If you've ever felt this way, then don't believe in the devil's lies and tricks!!! God is always close and seeking for you no matter what you've done. This time of dryness is the perfect time for praise and worship!! (Just ask Ko James!) Then when you are in the presence of God, your heart will overflow with songs and love for Him!! Lovely isn't it?! hehehe...

I'm moving houses tomorrow!!! Asyik man!! lebih deket ke sekolah, gereja and my indo friends!! Hehe so it means I can pratice my Indo even more!!! Tapi skarang, rumah di Liverpool keliatan kaya kapal pecah (is that rite? kapal pecah??) masih banyak barang yang harus di sortir dan di packing. Oh yeah! Rhesa is back!!! Sweeeeet dude! Another indo teacher! Time to get our "passion" on fire for God!!! Hahaha.. (see...it works both ways)